Lost?

Ever had the feeling like you don't know where you are in life, where you stand in the lives of others, and what direction you're heading? Or even if you're moving at all for that matter. I get these feelings once in a while, I guess you can label it as depression, hopelessness, sadness, melancholy... the feeling of being lost.

I feel like my inner monologue is just screaming and screaming, for someone to come by and just find me and save me. I always wish for the moment where I can finally just be who I want to be, have what I want in life, and finally just have the feeling of release, not having to care what other people think or expect, not having to have obligations and being accountable for others. Am I selfish?

Is every life worth living? Is every life worth saving? Is every life worth at least something?

I don't know.

Winter, Spring, Summer, now Fall.

I can't believe it's been 8 months since I last made a post on here. It's funny that even though time has flew by I am still stuck in the same place. The whole summer's rushed by me and I feel like I haven't even had the chance to begin enjoying it, and now it's already over. I'm feeling more and more stressed out as the weeks go by. I finished university yet I'm stuck in a dead end job. Why won't anyone hire me?!?! Is there something wrong with me?!!!!

Basically I feel like I'm in dire straits right now, between a rock and a hard place. I'm not happy, and I want to be happy. I keep telling myself that my time will come where things will finally pick up but the stress of having a crappy job, the impending repayment of student loans, and still stuck living at home at the age of 24 is a very humbling thought for my ego. I remember thinking to myself that I would have this and that accomplished by the time I finish school, and that I would be an established and self-sufficient guy with a bright career path. I'm not so sure anymore.

I know things happen for a reason, and I'm hoping that the saying "good things come to those who wait" will hold true for myself. Anyway I start work in less than an hour, so I should get going.

Happy New Year

Hello and welcome to 2010. I'm a bit overdue on the Christmas and New Year's posts, but hey it's better late than never. So here I am once again, suffering from insomnia. The past few days I've managed to have a normal nights sleep due to my being sick and having to pop Nyquil. Now that I'm off that stuff, my body has reverted back to its nocturnal state.

So an update on the job situation, I got the government job and had my first day on Monday! So far it's been alright, but it's been a bit lonely as I haven't been able to make friends with anyone in the office so far. But of course there's always the really nice lady in the office who's helping me with everything!

I'm also applying for the Explore program, and if I manage to get a bursary I will be off to Quebec in the Summer to improve my French. J'espere pouvoir voyager a Montreal, souhaitez-moi la chance!